Always Conall by Sibylla Matilde
Bitteroot ~ Book #2
To him, I was only just Sage, Matt Nichols’ little sister. But I've worshiped Conall my whole life. My brother's best friend. My secret crush. My first and only love. Always hoping he’d really see... me.
And then, a torrent of circumstances ripped through my life. One by one, my family began to crumble. My dad's heart attack. My brother's tragic death. My mother's slipping sanity. And then Conall's abandonment. He took my heart when he left, but he gave me a reason to grow up fast, to be strong, and to live.
Now, just when things finally start looking up, he's back in Bitterroot. Standing before me, not the boy he once was, but a man. Just when I’m on the cusp of living again. Just when I’m starting to feel like I could let go of the past and be happy without him, the feelings I set aside for all those years are raging once again through my veins. My tight control is slipping. The future I've so carefully mapped out now seems so uncertain.
He’s changed, but he hasn’t. I hate him for leaving, but I love him for coming home.But will he stay? And do I really, truly want him to after he shattered me before?
“I love you.”
“Sage,” he whispered, “don’t do this. Don’t say that. I’m not worth it.”
“But I do,” I shook my head defiantly. “I love you, Conall.” A drop of rain fell from the tip of his nose to his full lips, and I pulled myself up to capture it with a clumsy, tremulous kiss. My fingers framed his taut jaw. “I love you,” I hoarsely begged. “Please don’t go.”
“Sage,” he warned. His hands settled at my hips, as though to steady me… maybe even to steady himself. He didn’t pull me closer, but he didn’t push me away either. His raging uncertainty fueled my desperation, and I moved with him, guiding my fingers around his neck and pulling myself closer. Molding myself against his body, I lifted my trembling lips to kiss him again.
For a moment, he stood frozen, shocked by my brazen actions. I pulled my body against him hard, turning my head, increasing the pressure of my lips, pushing my tongue into his mouth. Kissing him like I’d always dreamed of doing.
He couldn’t leave me. He just couldn’t.
He was all I had left. I had to make him stay. So I beseeched him with my kiss, my touch, my sheer overwhelming need. I pleaded with the tears that streamed from my eyes and mixed with the frigid raindrops. Please, Con,” I whispered.
“Please… I need you. I love you.”
And then, as though he was coming alive, his strong hand caught the base of my head, tangling in my hair as he began to kiss me back.
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Because of Kian ~ Bitterroot ~ Book #1
***** Mature Content, Abuse, Sexual Situations, Adult Situations, Strong Language *****
I know I’m twisted. Growing up in a perfectly well-adjusted home, I
don’t really have an excuse. But no matter… I realize how messed up I
am. And therapy can only do so much.
I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle.
I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else.
And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt.
He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man?
I pushed my boyfriend to violence, a violence he couldn't control. Sickly, I almost liked it. So I pushed him more. Before long, the pain outweighed the pleasure and the loss I sustained shattered me. So I ran. I’m now a bit shell-shocked harboring a lot of guilt. My boyfriend is now my ex and wants revenge. He wants me to pay for turning him into the monster he’s become. And I still have a deviant yearning that I don’t understand. My own monster inside… my own demon to battle.
I can’t get close to anyone. I can’t give in and scratch that itch. I can’t wreck someone else.
And now there is Kian… my rescuer on a dark, painful night. He sees through my pretense. He tries to pull me from my frightened isolation, to keep me from becoming a victim. He forces me to face my warped desires and shows me that pain doesn’t really have to truly hurt.
He wants to show me a way to serenity. But I am afraid… Will I ruin a good man?
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About the Cover
Photography provided by: CJC Photography
Cover Model: Brian Laferriere
Follow him on Instagram
Other works
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~ Sibylla Matilde ~
Sibylla
Matilde grew up in the mountain valleys of Southwest Montana exploring
the dusty Old West gold country on the back of a horse. She attended a
two-room schoolhouse beginning in 1st grade & had the same teacher
until she changed schools after 7th. Beginning at about age 12, Sibylla
discovered historical romance, feeding off of work of Jude Deveraux
& Lisa Kleypas. She loves a book that can make the reader run the
gamut of emotions, from the sweet glow of new love to gut-wrenching
heartache. She is a true romantic & always has stories floating
around in her head, living in a fantasyland until she writes them down
to free them.
Music is
her emotional trigger. Growing up with a Wagnarian-loving mother,
Sibylla was raised to treasure music that digs deep into the psyche,
drawing out elation, sorrow, grief, desire. The soundtrack to her life
includes many genres spanning centuries. She looooooooves Thirty Seconds
to Mars (rather obsessively, actually... but, really, how can you NOT
be crazy about this guy!? Jared Leto. Shhh. ) & pimps them out to
all her friends through Spotify. She also delights in Met Opera HD
broadcasts at her local movie theater & hopes (listening Met?) to
someday see Diana Damrau reprise her role as Mozart’s Queen of the Night
in Die Zauberflöte.
Sibylla
lives with her husband and hero who saved her from her own calamitous,
young-adult self. He makes her laugh daily, even when things are tough.
He's proved to her that love really can heal a shattered soul. In 18
years, they have never had a fight, although argue regularly with their
two teenage kids who have, unfortunately, inherited their father’s quick
wit (unfortunate as it is a quick wit that Sibylla, herself, definitely
does not possess – there is a reason she is a writer & not a
stand-up comedian). They live a quiet life with their two weird little
rescued Chiweenies. Wait… teenagers & little yap-dogs? OK, maybe not
so quiet.
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Always Conall Prize Pack: includes Signed copy of Always Conall, Signed photograph of Brian Laferierre, & Always Conall personalized Dog tags.
Hosted by: The Girls THESUBCLUBbooks
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